Thy Mercy My God
Summertime is slower and sickness makes life here even more punctuated. There's time to snuggle and read, walk alone with the one who is well, sip comforting tea despite the heat, and try to enjoy the unwelcomed isolation for a bit. I thought I'd fly by this space and dump a few photos and a few thoughts about this moment in our family's life.
The children are toddler-ing on one end and tween-ing on the other, seriously, so God is sanctifying us as parents in ways we wouldn't choose but can see we need. The world is wild for our attention and affection but we keep coming back to these few walls and the people within as the main thing. It is with great gentleness that the Lord draws us to Himself and back to each other in this way.
As I type, Jacob is sick with Covid and quite hot and squishy in my lap. I've had him awfully close since the wee hours of the morning and with Grey going down too, I'm bracing for another slow week. But I am so grateful! I'm grateful for mild cases of this junk and general health, even with Luke's auto-immune condition.
A life of faith will tell you that God has been faithful and will be again and again. His love and compassion know no end. I remember an old song that was on replay back in my single days, "Thy mercy, my God, is the theme of my heart..." and I always come back to that thought. He truly is our daily bread, our all-sufficient God who does fill in all the spaces of grief, pain, and longing and He will show us his face in the end.
I was recently reminded by one of my favorite counselors, Elisabeth Elliot, to just "do the next thing," even if it is waiting on a particular decision, or sitting with a sick friend, or waiting for a grief to wane again. As a missionary to the very people who killed her husband, Elliot knew the mystery of waiting on God for everything, for every move. I can get lost in the weeds pretty quickly if I get ahead of today and what is right in front of me, or who is right in front of me. Some days I want to plan my life next year but what is desperately needed is to scoop my baby boy up for a book or take a walk in the orchard with my girl, or to stay up late with our almost teenager, but it requires me to step outside of myself and want I think is important in the moment. It also means saying no to worry and fear. To accept God's "right now" and not feel so needy for the "someday."
"But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil." Proverbs 1:33
Lately, waiting upon the Lord has meant to feast upon His word, to cling tightly to His promises of mercy and vindication, and to pray. I know that goes without saying, but honestly, I forget this simple means of His grace. He is a loving God who hears us! He wipes tears on this side of heaven and will remove them entirely in glory. Think of all those manna-moments in the Scriptures, when God comes and feeds his people. From Moses gathering food in the morning, or Melchizedech's mysterious appearance with bread and wine, to Joseph with his vats of grain during a famine. All of this points to Jesus, who fed us once and for all as the Lamb of God. There are so many occurrences of bread or rain showing up and people being satisfied--we have no need to fear. We have Jesus, so we have a manna, a very present Help, who is always available and eternal. He will not leave us or forsake us. He is our bread and our soul's satisfaction.
I led them with cords of a man, with bonds of love,
And I became to them as one who lifts the yoke from their jaws;
And I bent down and fed them. Hosea 11:4
Oh, how sweet and precious are the promises of God! He be-came to us, he bends, he provides. Will he not continue to feed his people? I trust that whatever comes for us in the coming months will be for His own glory and our good.
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